Jamie.. last name withheld because i cant remember it for the life of me..
So years ago i had a job working for a software recycling company. It was a pretty fantastic job, you meet your quota and bust some ass but overall things were pretty casual. This casualness was across the board provided we all got our work done.
At times i think that we should have treated it more as a job than a playground. for example: i remember the time i OD’d while at work.
We had the bulk of our work done for the week and our free time had opened upi significantly.. we had grown tired of playing frisbee and breaking things. a friend of mine had sold me a tenstrip of lsd earlier in the day. my boss being unbosslike per the norm, wanted to hook up as well. we worked that out, then we distributed the acid to numerous co-workers who were interested. we ended up with 15 people (give or take) high as fuck and the rest of the workers babysitting us. worked out quite nicely till my stupid ass fucked it up. see, i had been taking a lot of lithium over the prior two weeks. unbeknownst to me, lithium and LSD do not mix.. well they do, but negatively. i was outside smoking a cigarette and started hearing noises. people whispering to me and echoing in my head. i walked inside and had a slow motion moment as i fell to the floor convulsing in a grand mal seizure.
This was actually a pretty druggy job to begin with. i remember doing meth and coke in the bathrooms. i remember when we opened oursoftware shipments one day and found twelve 4 oz bottles of morphine and a set of 6 sterile and packaged needles. all materials that were to be recycled came in to the system bulk so there was no way to return items that were forwarded to us incorrectly..
long story short, the picture here looks just like the boss man would if he were to pose mostly naked for a set of playing cards. when we found this card years later we were surprised and nauseated.
he liked to eat peanut butter/balogna/onion sandwiches and was over all a pretty nice guy. his 400 pound bestfriend/sister in law was another story all together. i hope she is dead and that rats are eating her body.
rant, shit from a long time ago | Comments (4)
Meat Diapers
Back in 2003, i posted an idea to Halfbakery.com.
i recieved mixed responses on this, regardless of how serious the intent of the “half baked” idea was. I am hoping that other people can see the joy in this. feel free to log in and get rid of my fishbones on the bakery or leave comments here (or both :) )
text of the “idea”
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Meat_20Diapers
| Meat Diapers Thin cut veal for the incontinent…. |
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in a world where people fret over how long things will take to bio-degrade..in a country where people are too lazy to do anything but clap to turn off the lights..
in a world with such a large variety of diapers for the young as well as the old..
we.. should.. have.. “M.E.A.T. Diapers”.. M.ass E.dible A.nti T.rash ~~ a variety of flesh to wrap around your groinal area. from thin cut beef to thin cut veal.
who is to say that if you want to defecate in a peice of meat (whether you are an expert in butchery, or a computer geek) that you cannot?
pro’s: 1) it is flexible. 2) self replenishing for ranchers 3) biodegrades, or can serve as an alternate food source for cows in europe. 4)heats up the longer you wear it. 5) self cleaning monitor. when it is time to change it you will feel a squirming sensation around your genitalia, like scrubbing bubbles, but a little more disgusting.
cons: 1) none that i can see, that is why this is an open forum.
~~ ~~ also available with corndog attatchment in situations of the sexual variety as well as designer versions with link sausage butt floss for those used to wearing thongs.
~~ brought to you by - fnord incorporated
| Dec 22 2003 |
its all a matter of perspective.. I can see clearly…..
f f n e o a r r d
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Other | Comment (1)