Fnord Incorporated

Fourth Quarter suggestion

Our company gives cash bonuses for suggesting changes in the company.. every suggestion is worth at least 1 dollar. last quarter i sent in a suggestion and this is what occured afterwards.. I sent this in via the suggestion system so i will get another dollar in a couple months and can track how i recieve it for shits and giggles :)

I wanted to begin by saying thank you for the great suggestion program. It is nice to know that we have an outlet as employees to be able to push for positive change in our company.

That said, my suggestion is for the suggestion system!

Today I received an Overnight DHL Express letter from (city removed). Contained inside this gargantuan 12.5 x 9.5 inch express envelope, I expected to find a bundle of HR paperwork or some other package requiring my attention. To my surprise, I opened the pkg to find a small, standard size mail envelope. Contained with in this envelope was a single sheet of paper and a dollar bill.

Thank you for the dollar!

I was confused at first. Pleased at my new found wealth (money for a Rockstar to fuel my content developing fire is always appreciated) but I was most definitely confused. Why DHL Express a dollar? Wouldn’t the price of shipping be more than the contents of the pkg?

In order to lessen the confusion, I decided to make a field trip over to the shipping dept and do some research. Sure enough, unless we have some massive discount from DHL, the standard Overnight DHL Express postage for letter weight mail is just under twenty five dollars ($25). Phew! Seems like we could cut that down dramatically.

Now that the garnish is on the plate, time to get to the meat and potatoes (or tofu for the vegetarians):

1)We could use petty cash locally to pay out smaller suggestion rewards. This could then be processed locally for expense reimbursement which could be done digitally, via fax, or normal mail. This would save a fair chunk of change in the long run while barely impacting the work load of individuals involved.

2)You could feel free to direct deposit the dollar (along with saved shipping costs) into the account of choice for an individual. For employees who are set up for direct deposit already this would be a fantastic surprise to them to find that their dollar bill has duplicated itself many times over (I doubt this part of the suggestion will be agreed upon)

3)Send mail in bulk packages. If paperwork is already being transferred to a location, include it and save shipping by piggy backing on another DHL transaction.

4)Normal mail for a $1 is not a bad idea either. A $0.39 stamp and a security envelope would be fine packaging. The bill could be wrapped in a thank you note as it is currently done making it difficult to see through the envelope and determine the contents.

Anyway, just a money saving thought. You guys probably send enough pkgs every day that we are only spending pennies on the dollar, but if it is more than that, I think it could be streamlined and made more efficient.

Thanks again for the George Washington! Rockstar here I come!

Jason Brown
Content Developer

Troll 2 - Eazy-E

I made this earlier today. let me know what you think :)

Added October 14, 2006
From discordspuppet

There is 20-40 seconds of blank space at There is 20-40 seconds of blank space at the beginning for sync and continuity purposes. I felt it was better than cutting the song in part way.

Video was put together after watching the movie Troll 2. The movie was utter shite but was campy/hilarious. Goblins..Troll 2 had absolutely ZERO trolls in it.. At one point one of the Goblins ends up throwing a gang sign to the camera.

Eazy seemed to call to this movie from the grave as you will see from the way the music matches the unedited video.

No footage or music here is claimed to be owned by myself but is being used in a manner that falls well with in the grey area of fair use. enjoy.

bike accident / shower singing

Yesterday i was on my way to work when a mere two blocks from my destination i was cut off by a car. I dodged. my tire found its way partially entangled in the MAX rail. i hopped it out and found a looming curb. hopped the curb, looming wall. dodged wall and OOOOH! it got me.

down down down i go, falling in slow motion to the ground. while falling i watch as my right shoe flies into the air charlie brown style.

Somehow it ended up underneath me, cushioning my fall not in the slightest.

it was awesome! i cherish any chance for a slow motion charlie brown moment, and this being my first, it was definitely my favorite!

~~~

on a side note:
to all the men and women at the party last night who sang with me in the shower through out the night…. THANK YOU. you are all fantastic and i love you.

National Prostitution

some friends and i started a magazine last night.

Click image for a sample of the possible cover design we are planning. look familiar?

“National Prostitution is a resource for information on all forms of prostitution. Whether you are a street walker or corporate paycheck whore, pizza delivery person or aspiring musician, we aim to match your need for useful information and plan to absorbe you into our collective. In the world of magazines, you have a place for everyone (snowboarders, hot rodders, celeb watchers) but the prostitution industry is fairly untapped territory. Beginning as a webzine, we plan on encroaching onto the paper playing field at some point. We plan to provide an fully biased industry review for all forms of Whores, Artists, Photographers, Sluts, Rakes, CEO’s, Politicians, Garbage men, etc.

All contributors have the option of staying anonymous or letting the world know their thoughts with their given name associated. This is a non-profit shindig for now, so don’t as for money.. I got fucked for 40+ long and hard hours last week. My paycheck is mine damn it.

This tribe is a meeting ground to communicate about the creation of the Magazine until we have a solid home with better communication available.”

Go check out the tribe at National Prostitution HQ. Everyone is welcome.

Edited 11/01/07 : This idea died on the vine… i hate when that happen….