Fnord Incorporated

six lane town - rambling and ranting

written earlier this week, please ignore errors:

I am drinking coffee in a six lane town. 3 lanes of constant noise, traffic, rage, and pollution streaming south in a blur with a perfect reciprocation in the opposite direction (north). Six in total. These lanes bisect the city (and for the most part, the whole state of Utah) and form the basis for Orem Utah’s very simple grid structure. north south east and west all have a function and “State Street” is the root. 15 feet to the left of my coffee cup are big expensive automobiles cruising at high velocities with no care or regard for their surroundings.
There are only two coffee shops that I know of in this town. The first, a corporate coffee shop named “Starbucks”, is what the locals are proud/feel priviledged to finally have access to. The second is a local shop that in years past garnered hatred from me for their business practices and attitude. I chose to visit this lesser evil and raise my caffiene levels a bit. They (juice and java) seem to have gotten over themselves are are sailing straight now.
Sitting here I can reflect a little on the last few days in Utah. I have come to the conclusion that I have been spoiled by my time living in Portland. Back home people walk, bike, and use public transit as solutions to getting around. Round these parts I appear to be an oddity though. I get stared at for being on foot. During my 40 minute walk to the coffee shop, I did not see another pedestrian. Sitting outside the coffee shop for another half an hour, I viewed my first bicyclist for the day (it is 5:30 pm). He was riding his bike on the sidewalk because there are no bike lanes here to allow him safer access to pulic roads. Even with a bike lane, i would not trust the drivers. The road i am next to allows JohnQ to drive at freeway speeds in town. For the most part, sidewalks in this place seem to only be picturesque relics of the past. They appear to have been added because a road “needs” a sidewalk, even if it will never be used. People just roll past in their little reality bubbles and interaction is minimalized to the honk of a horn.
Another point of interest:

Non-motor vehicle traffic is not the only thing I have noticed as being askew. My first day here, I went out shopping with my dad. We ended up in a shopping center with a series of stores. FYE, Toys R Us, Granite Furniture, and some other places I dont remember off hand were all located here. I was outside the FYE store and smoking a cigarette. It was a nice day, cool but with sunshine, so I looked around for a bench. I wanted to sit in the sund and relax while I waited for dad to exit the store…. Not a bench in sight. I looked up and down the whole businessplex. This is a fine example of Utah extremism. They want you inside shopping, or driving your car away. Sitting on a bench would be loitering. Consume or leave, there is no in between.

This whole last summer Portlanders have been going around the city and BUILDING benches. Portland is not the only city involved. They have determined that we needed MORE social gathering spots. We needed more places to sit, relax, bullshit, play games, watch the world roll past. They determined that more benches meant more community interaction. I can believe this. in my days here I have only seen one bench in a public area (not counting parks). The bench I found was in the parking lot for the defunct business next to this coffee shop. Someone had moved it into the middle of the parking lot where it was now a traffic hazard. Having no place to sit comfortably made me feel that I had to leave and as anyone who knows me can vouch, I do not like HAVING to do anything. Having no place to sit and relax stirred in me a desire to loiter.. opposite of the intended reaction.
I did find community in one consistant place. Smoking area’s. As with many states, Utah has removed smoking to outdoor areas only. Inside this coffee shop, they share business space with a restaurant. The tables are nice and there is a bit of elbow room, but the considerable lack of community locally seems to ward people off. Eeverything is taken “to go” and they leave the inside empty. Outside is a whole new reality. A series of small tables scrunched together create the outdoor/smoking area. 15 feet from 6 lanes of traffic, we are able to relax and enjoy the view of high speed traffic. We can rejoice in the wonders of nature through the wavy blur of exhaust…. I digress. Smokers are being systematically disbanded nationwide. The culture of the smoker is going the way of the dodo bird. It is a shame because the smokers are the only tight knit community I have seen here. We sit and talk. smokers and non-smoking friends of smokers sit peacefully and talk about politics, music, art, tv, movies, theology, wanking it.,. whatever. Strangers communicating freely and with out stress or pressure. The point is that those simple minutes of inhaling carcinogens allows us to fold together and talk. We are social outcasts by default, if we dont communicate, we will just end up alone. From a Utah standpoint, alone = just like the rest of them. Encapsulated into a reality devoid of others where the only society you have is the relief society. Don’t get me wrong, there are exceptions to every rule and this example does not cover any of those exceptions, nor will it.

Now that all my loudmouthing is done, I will wrap this train of thought up. Smokers have the social skills needed save the Utah community structure, but more benches are needed. there are too many cars in Utah and not enough enviro/health concious walkers or cyclists..

While I have been writing this, I have seen my first two foot pedestrians of the day. I also saw a rainbow in the smog. I praise you poorly dressed gothics and hope you make it to your destinations with out being run over.