November 2006

The Archives

• Rants

  dimwitted.

  11.30.06 | Permalink | 8 Comments

  the first night i was in Utah the neighbors across the street from my dad’s place left the door to their minivan open overnight. the next day i had the pleasure of watching them attempt to jump start the beast for about 2 hours.

  i could have walked over and shut the door for them and saved them a load of trouble but did not. i learned years ago that my appearance and the unlikeliness of social kindness works against me when doing good deads for strangers. i used to open doors and turn peoples headlights off in parking lots. this was an act intended to assist them. once i was caught in the act and had the police called on me. now i dont even think about it. not even if their driver window is down and it would be a quick act. fuck it. some people would appreciate… Read the rest

• Meh = Misc

  six lane town – rambling and ranting

  11.26.06 | Permalink | 7 Comments

  written earlier this week, please ignore errors:

  I am drinking coffee in a six lane town. 3 lanes of constant noise, traffic, rage, and pollution streaming south in a blur with a perfect reciprocation in the opposite direction (north). Six in total. These lanes bisect the city (and for the most part, the whole state of Utah) and form the basis for Orem Utah’s very simple grid structure. north south east and west all have a function and “State Street” is the root. 15 feet to the left of my coffee cup are big expensive automobiles cruising at high velocities with no care or regard for their surroundings.
  There are only two coffee shops that I know of in this town. The first, a corporate coffee shop named “Starbucks”, is what the locals are proud/feel priviledged to finally have access to. The second is a local shop that in… Read the rest

• Meh = Misc

  forget-me-not panties™

  11.16.06 | Permalink | 2 Comments

  http://www.forgetmenotpanties.com/

  protect her privates Ever worry about your wife cheating?

  Want to know where your daughter is late at night?

  Need to know when your girlfriend’s temperature is rising?

  This amazing device will answer all of your questions! These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it’s there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most.

  make sure you will never be forgotten forget-me-not panties™ have built-in GPS and unique sensor technology giving you the forget-me-not advantage.
  

  ---

  i can think of a hundred ways to use these instead of tracking a loved one… recently a friend… Read the rest

• Meh = Misc

  vacation to utah?

  11.16.06 | Permalink | 3 Comments

  i will be on a trip to visit family and friends in utah for about 2 weeks
  leaving this saturday..

  should be hella fun.

  anyone who wants to get a hold of me knows how to do it.

• Kick Ass

  Like Lilly Like Wilson

  11.16.06 | Permalink | Comment?

  this describes the reason the reason i have wanted to be a teacher… pretty much perfectly

  (reprinted without permission)
  By Taylor Mali
  www.taylormali.com

  I’m writing the poem that will change the world,
  and it’s Lilly Wilson at my office door.
  Lilly Wilson, the recovering like addict,
  the worst I’ve ever seen.
  So, like, bad the whole eighth grade
  started calling her Like Lilly Like Wilson Like.
  Until I declared my classroom a Like-Free Zone,
  and she could not speak for days.

  But when she finally did, it was to say,
  Mr. Mali, this is . . . so hard.
  Now I have to think before I . . . say anything.
  Imagine that, Lilly.

  It’s for your own good.
  Even if you don’t like . . .
  it.

  I’m writing the poem that will… Read the rest

• Consumer Whore (generic)

  Pay for my minutes

  11.13.06 | Permalink | 1 Comment

  

  How many people out there are going to call me and offer me products and services for Fnord Incorporated. so far, i have recieved about 400 peices of mail for fnord inc. all of this mail will be used as fodder in my quest.
  Today i received a phone call from a company called Myron. They have apparently been sending me free sample gifts in the mail for a while and attempting to get a hold of me to place an order for FnordInc merchandise to give to our employees. i have recieved non of these so i guess it is time for me to update my domain registrar with my new address info.. i could be missing out on other fodder!
  I attempted to tell the gentleman who called me today that we were… Read the rest

• Meh = Misc

  Site Changes..

  11.09.06 | Permalink | 3 Comments

  I am attempting to make some alterations to make everything pretty and happy and full of joyful joy and joyness..

  please escuse the mess. (or lack there of)
  if you are visiting for the Business Reply Mail artwork, the normal link has become “icky” due to the default wordpress template in use.

  please visit this link to gain temporary access.

  everything else is available in the side bar.

  thanks.