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coffee supply low, sleep evident

sitting at work.. coffee not yet flowing freely, sleep deprived by waking too early…

silliness ensues.. this was my morning on a day earlier this week… unfortunately, one of my co-workers happened to have a camera and caught this..  i look really silly.. silly..

i have decided that silly is a stupid word.

Portland, OR to Portland, OR - Roundtrip

I am not one for taking vacations normally. when it comes down to time off work, i use my sick days and end up with limited available downtime. breaking that habit is a hard thing to do, but so far it appears to be going well.

i was writing up lots of details but ended up with a huge post.. decided to crop it down to just the bare details cause i am LAZY.. photos included.

Thurs:

• left work and drank lots of beer with Jenn in the PDX airport. quite buzzed by the time we stood up, was nice
• boarded flight and headed south to the Oakland airport.
• touch own in the Oakland airport (really small.. REALLY small).
• Met up with Jenn’s friend Stacy.
• more drinks at Stanfords. Stanfords in California was very different as opposed to the stuffy versions we have in PDX. it was a little “just 21″ hot spot.. it was scary
• was very tired and passed out.

Friday

• freeways were mother fucking evil down there. what with people driving while text messaging, no one in the state appearing to know what a blinker is, and the posted speed limits being used only for reference while people’s feet pushed the accelerators closer to the floor. it was a good thing that Stacy is a good driver else i would have cried and climbed down on to the floor. i am not used to being in high speed cars anymore.. i have regained the fear that should be in all of us.
• Stacy was kind enough to give us a whirl wind tour of San Francisco. Having never spent any time there i was appreciative :)
• breakfast at a little cafe called Chloe’s Cafe (1399 Church St). mother fuckin pancakes.. thats all i have to say. pancakes pancakes pancake. they were GOOD. okay, i have more to say. fruit, cup of coffee, some bacon on the side and a big bowl of tomato based soup. Jenn had some kind of egg scramble that was delicious, so did Stacy, though i was so into my food that i really cant remember what they had cooked in them.
• we drove around town a bit, hit up a few touristy places down on the docks,
• drank some margaritas
• hit up the golden gate bridge for a couple standard “we dont live here” photos
• Dropped by the outside of the Exploratorium to snap a couple shots.

• removed vundo virus from Stacy’s computer
• that night we went went to a pretty cool restaurant for dinner Gordon Birsch or something.. fantastic black beer was to be had as well as a really incredible rueben sandwich, Met Jenn’s best friend, Ricky
• off to a bar called the holy cow, where every one drank beer and danced. some englishman was crowding my space and chatting me up. everytime Jenn kissed me, he would hide his face or turn his head, then wait for her to leave.

Note: next time i head down there there will need to be a full day devoted to one of the big museums.. all day at the exploratorium or the modern art museum, etc..

Saturday

• much more mellow. woke up and went with Stacy to pick up her boys from the grand parents house.
• road trip from her place to Modesto. every road in the valley looks the same to me.. every field and orchard might as well be on the same block cause i cant tell the difference between them all. i liked it.
• met Jenn’s dad and step mom, various step-siblings through out the night.
• lazy night eating chinese food and gabbing

Sunday

• woke up late due to daylight savings.. always sneaks up on me.
• headed out to Jamestown to visit phreekachu.
• talked phreekachu into a spontaneous shaving of his porn moustache and he decided to straighten his hair before work.
• enjoyed a great amount of conversation with him and his girlfriend (who is awesome btw)
• back to modesto for a baby blessing
• bbq
• hanging and chatting till bed time

Monday

• out the door earlyish, driving to san jose.
• ate the greatest hamburger i have ever had in my life at a shop called “Nations”

• met a couple of Jenn’s friends (Dee, and one whose name i forget)
• Hiking in a canyon where there used to be a turn of the century hot springs spa.
• watch people play horseshoes.
• back to modesto and bed.. early morning was coming.

Tuesday

• Jenn’s dad gave us a ride to the airport. he works close by. left at 5 am or so to head out to oakland through morning traffic.
• time amazingly flew by and we were on board and in the airs soon after.
• back in pdx around 10 am.

next time i take my laptop with me so i dont have a week long delay in showing people pictures.. i will just do them once a day or so.. :)

portable computers are portable… smart eh?

so anyway, here you go, a week or so later, a synopsis of our trip. more happened and has been cut out.. many pictures not shown, of those that are shown, click to make bigger.

man o man…

so apparently my friend D is having a half birthday celebration. Her birthday is xmas eve. she was down in south america for her birthday this year, so she is having a half year celebration to make up for it.

it is common that i give D a load of shit every time i see her. today she tells me that i promise to stop being mean to her, she will invite me to tag along. we have a short amount of conversation about how i am not really being mean to her, and she agrees.

“the party will be happening May 24th” she tells me. “that is far enough in advance that [i] can plan for it.”

surprised by the coincidence of the date, i advise her that i will likely be camping. this is what we plan to be doing on the weekend of the 25th for Jenn and Sean’s birthday. D advises me that we should go camping mid week as it would be better than a weekend trip. all i can tell her is that i will be recovering from getting my tonsils out, so there is no option of a mid week trip (let alone the fact that mid week would not fall on the 25th which is what we are camping to celebrate)

she tells me that it is fine, i can wash my hair or whatever else i might find to use as an excuse that week.

oh i laughed.. i really am getting my tonsils taken out that week. it is really amazing how real life can seem like a lie at times.

she understands that i was not joking or being mean now, but this definitely does not take away from the humor, or my sore cheeks from laughing and smiling as hard as i did.

New Evidence: Mr. Pee Wee Herman was only washing his hands..

Okay.
So i got back from my trip to california with Jenn. details on the trip will follow with selected photos.

wednesday morning, i woke up, dressed and bussed my ass to work. upon arrival i was met with many surprises. tons of emails to be answered, meetings to attend, the need to pee and hide in the restroom from the onslaught of personal responsibility that had been sidelined while i vacationed.

off to the restroom i went. coffee pumping through my system, i decided it was best to start the workday with a little tinkle. apparently, while i was gone, all of the bathrooms in our office building have had new-fangled automatic soap dispensers installed. I have seen these in airports and other places before, but i have never put 2 plus three together before and come up with the correct sum of 12. they are motion sensitive and kinda creepy.

i did my business, washed and left. i felt a little bit dirty still.

later in the day, whilst washing up again…. well.. i figured out why i still felt dirty.

The following video will explain it better than words ever could..

Get the latest Flash Player to see this player.

So this device was aptly named by the company that made it.. it is called the OneShot®.. yeah, i know.. they had to realize what they were doing when they made and marketed this thing.

marketing blurb:

AutoSoap® Counter Mounted Automatic Soap Dispenser. […] Clean, attractive & reliable. […] Assists Maintenance Staff […] Always works - no more clogs and drips means no messy cleanup […] refills with easy “quick-twist” loading. Dispenser fits existing 1″ (one inch) opening for easy installation. […]Attractive, touch-free design enhances image.


also available with: Lotion Soap with Moisturizer


Rich, luxurious hand soap with special moisturizing ingredients… including Glycerin, Aloe Vera and Vitamin E, to help soothe and soften skin. Produces a thick, rich lather and has a unique fresh floral scent.

lotion with moisturizer.. keep talking it up folks. I am sure that Mr Paul Rubens (aka Pee Wee Herman) tried that one when he was in the ol’ porno club. and after seeing this fantastic technology, i have a new theory to propose.. in fact, i will now consider it factual evidence in his favor . (do not argue with my logic.. it is loose and very malleable, i will come out the winner)

Theory/fact.

Mr Rubens was just in there washing his hands, and technology similar to this was installed. Pee Wee was washing up and made noises of glee when he realized he did not need to actually touch the dirty dirty bacteria infested soap dispenser. his audible glee was noticed by other patrons. looking into the sink, they were left with only one conclusion… that mr Rubens had had a little fun in his play house and shot a load in the sink. immediately after the media frenzy began, the theater attempted (and failed) to capitalize on the press overreaction and removed the automatic dispensers in order to hide any possible proof that he was innocent.

in reality, only Jambi the Genie knows the truth, but after my own experiences, i have to say i got your back mr rubens… meka leka hi meka hini ho.. or however it is spelled.. what would your wish be today pee wee?