local news, now 3-ply

Dear local news:

last night, a commercial came on for your local news program. you were soooo excited, mentioning “Now in HD!” something like 4 times in 30 seconds…. okay! seriously? congratulations local news!

i hate to be the one to tell this to you folks, as it’s your goddamn job and all to be on top of this shit, but…

||BREAKING NEWS!||
HDTV wide-screen broadcasts have been going on for a decade now. Conversion and simultaneous broadcast with standard tv is no longer special! you are late!

HD HD HD… blah blah blah..

this is officially as annoying as “special features” on DVDs. nothing special about them now that they are standard.

NO ONE CARES ABOUT NEW STATIONS BEING INCLUDED AS HD.. if someone wants it, they will check for it. if they do not find HD, then your station looks backwards and idiotic. you are now just as normal as all the other channels. so quit bringing your late adoption to everyone’s attention.

the fact that you just caught up is kind of funny, and a little sad. you remind me a bit of that kid in elementary school, who saw kids cruising the playground on their roller racers, begged and begged for one of your own. when you finally got one, no one else thought they were cool anymore and had moved on to the goddamn pogo-ball..

“Hey everyone! come check out my new roller racer!!”

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