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NOT Kick Ass

NOT Kick Ass
tired of being sick…
08.14.10 | Permalink | Comment?

when it crosses your mind to gargle with diluted hydrogen peroxide, dont do it. it will make you want to puke. for anyone who thinks it might be a good idea, just walk up to someone who loves you and ask them to punch you in the gut then the throat then the gut again.. sane effect but with out the nasty residuals.

a week in and not better. this sucks. sore throat etc. going to go to see a doctor tomorrow.

really just want to feel better. preferably before my liver shuts down from acetaminophen over use :)
Books / Articles, NOT Kick Ass, Reviews
Review: Fanny Hill, John Cleland
05.10.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

ever wanted to read porn from england circa the 1740′s?

i picked up a digital copy of this for my kindle, thinking that anachronistic descriptions of overly prude sexual encounters would be humorous. i was dead wrong here.

~~

Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure was “out there”. Imagine the dirtiest filthy disgusting porn available in our culture. double that and put it into a written format with archaic wording. needless to say, i was surprised and did not finish this book.

Fanny Hill is a country girl who’s parents have died. she moved to London in an effort to rise above her status. Day one in her new life, she is swept into a brothel under the premise of good work. unknowing that she is being pimped, she has her first encounter with a man. Fanny survives this encounter, and slowly grows to look forward to… Read the rest
Geeky Stuff, NOT Kick Ass, Old Subject Matter
i have the plague
04.26.10 | Permalink | 7 Comments

i will refer to her as jenny. she hates it, but there are no “jenn” garbage pail kids.shut up jenn. quit reading over my shoulder…

my wife got me sick, not on purpose, but it happened all the same.it was all part of some evil ploy for world domination.

but she bought me cookies, so it is all okay :)

she states that it was not out of the kindness of her heart, it is that she felt i needed some “cookies to toss”

so unfortunately, the whole weekend disappeared in a haze of kidney pains, fluid loss, and sweaty nasty feverishness.

no big deal though, got me out of a half day of work today.. hooray hooray for half sick days! (jenny got out of 3 days..)

more time to catch up on missed episodes of lost, so says i.. more time to nap, more time to… Read the rest
About Fnord Incorporated, NOT Kick Ass
might go offline for a couple days
02.08.10 | Permalink | 3 Comments

hopefully not, but possible.
my hosting account is experiencing some billing timing issues.

dont yet know for sure.

hooray hooray for forgetting to pay your bills!
what i really need to do is just fork over the 2 years in advance pay i used to give up.. its better than doing this six months at a time bullshit.
NOT Kick Ass, Rants
local news, now 3-ply
01.25.10 | Permalink | 2 Comments

Dear local news:

last night, a commercial came on for your local news program. you were soooo excited, mentioning “Now in HD!” something like 4 times in 30 seconds…. okay! seriously? congratulations local news!

i hate to be the one to tell this to you folks, as it’s your goddamn job and all to be on top of this shit, but…

||BREAKING NEWS!||
HDTV wide-screen broadcasts have been going on for a decade now. Conversion and simultaneous broadcast with standard tv is no longer special! you are late!

HD HD HD… blah blah blah..

this is officially as annoying as “special features” on DVDs. nothing special about them now that they are standard.

NO ONE CARES ABOUT NEW STATIONS BEING INCLUDED AS HD.. if someone wants it, they will check for it. if they do not find HD, then your station looks backwards and idiotic. you are now just… Read the rest
Film and Shorts, NOT Kick Ass, Personal Photography, Photography
Advertisements
01.21.10 | Permalink | 4 Comments

why do advertisements so often end up creepy? I saw this a couple nights ago while going to the grocery store. The ad woman has translucent eyes and the mole on her face makes her more like a pirate wench than the glammy marilyn monroe geek goddess they were trying for. Instead of being welcoming, she appears sinister and hungry for souls.

follow that up with the bizarro dead children seen tonight (store dummies), and the fucked sephora ad I saw back in the xmas season….

and of course, the previously mentioned Sephora advert. was in thier window during th holiday season 2009

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NOT Kick Ass
feeling like an idiot 101
01.19.10 | Permalink | 9 Comments

its official, a burning bush has no standardized affiliation with god. especially if it is on fire because of a mistake you made.

today i was on my lunch break smoking a cigarette. the end goal was to walk into the lobby of the building across the way (part of the same complex). they have nice comfy chairs to sit in that are perfect for reading in.

i crossed the road, butted out my smoke and tossed the butt into the trash can. as i was putting it out, a portion of the cherry blew away in a super strong wind that frequents the area. i stopped and looked around, but couldnt see anything wrong. it has been raining everyday for a week, so i assumed all was going to be fine.

i went inside, opened my can of tomato juice and started reading. i was only there for about… Read the rest