Fnord Incorporated

Parasite Positive / Crooked Little Vein

Parasite Positive by Scott Westerfeld

Publisher: Little, Brown Book Group (Import - June 30, 2007)

and

Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis

Publisher: William Morrow/HarperCollins (Hardback - July24, 2007)

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Enjoyed two books in the last couple days. one definitively more than the other.

I picked up a brand new discount bin copy of Scott Westerfeld’s Parasite Positive. It is an imported book. The US Title is Peeps. The name of the book from the UK is far better. Peeps is fine for slang but is a lame name for the book itself in my opinion. But that is a Strike against the publisher not the Westerfeld. The last thing i want to do when I pick up a book is look at the binding and wonder why there is not a yellow marshmallow Easter chick on it instead of humans

Peeps look like yellow fluffy sugar coated dog turds, and thus make me feel funny.. inside.. my stomach.. .

This book is pretty enjoyable, a little bit frustrating. Set in the current times, imagine a world where vampires exist. They are not as we describe in mythology and urban legend, similar but not the same. In Parasite Positive (peeps for short), people can be infected by a parasite through kissing or sexual activity.

Cal, a first year NYC college student from Texas, hooks up with a woman in a bar and loses his virginity. He does not see her again. Soon after, every girl he kisses or is other wise physically intimate with goes bat-shit insane. They have contracted a virus from him.

The virus rewires your brain slightly, give the typical super human strength, yadda, yadda. Cal is brought into a secret organization to hunt down Peeps, Starting with his ex-girlfriends.

It played out in a faster paced story line than I prefer. the ending seemed far too cut and paste, and main characters became too forgiving. It was frustrating to see a good set of characters get a cleansing white wash treatment for no apparent reason, other than a need to close out the storyline. I was pleased to read that there is a sequel, but i am unsure if i will be picking it up. maybe i will read the first chapter at Powells and see if Scott give people back their written vitality. otherwise.. meh.

Best part of the book, every other chapter is a short information package on different parasites in our world, their effects, habits, and horrors. personally, these little segments were my favorite parts.

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Crooked Little Vein - Warren Ellis, “awesome” in a box… ready to be mixed, baked, and eaten while youa re stoned and listening your records.

Now, do not confuse your Warren Ellises here. The Ellis who wrote this book is not the phenomenal composer who works with Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Grinderman (with nick cave and a bunch of the seeds), and Dirty Three.

No, this Ellis is of comic series Transmetropolitan, among other comics, books, tv shows, etc.. He puts forward one hell of a book here.

hm.. i dont know where to start here. I guess with a quick thank you.. THANK YOU JARET AND JENN. i rean through this book in a few hours time while i was riding the max train to work and back.

No spoiler here, the description given here will happen in the first five-10 pages.

Apparently, back in the day, founding father Benjamin Franklin wrote a book when he was in france for a few days. The book was written when his nights sleep was interrupted 6 nights in a row by an alien being. On the seventh night, he punchs the alien in the face and kills it instantly. Ben Franklin then takes the aliens skin and binds his book.

What exactly is this book? It is an alternate and secondary constitution to the united staed. it is the fix for everything bad that every happened to our country and our people… only problem is that Nixon gave the book away back in the ’50s and no one knows where it is.

again, this is in the first few pages. the main character, Mike McGill, wakes up  to find a giant rat taking a piss into his coffee cup and then appears to be laughing at him. before he can adjust to the zoological ramifications of a rat taking pleasure in his pain, he is approached by a high power politician. The politician would like to pay him $500,000 to find the book and return it. its not that he is the best detective in America, they want him because he is a “shit magnet” and as such, the book will likely just come to him directly.

Not sold on Crooked Little Vein yet? Two words:

Godzilla Bukkake… (if you do not know what bukkake is, look it up first. it will help you determine if this book is a good match for you)

Buy this book. borrow it. steal it (then give it back with foot notes)…

One last thing, Listening to Grinderman while reading this book is fantastic.. so you could actually ahve both Warren Eliis parts at once.. i wold highly suggest it actually. Grinderman is a nice cooperative sound to the hilarious and surprise of the books scenes…

oh yeah.. i wanna holler out to spider jerusalem. props. love you man,… even if you are fiction.

Review: Cold Tom by Sally Prue

Cold Tom by Sally Prue

• Suggested Reading level: Ages 9-12
• Hardcover: 192 pages
• Publisher: Scholastic Press (June 1, 2003)

I picked this book up about a month ago in a bargain bin at Barnes and Nobles. They were charging a dollar for it. I read the inside cover and decided, what the hell, its only a buck.. The cover art for the hardbound book was worth a dollar by itself. it was glossy and reflective. if i were a raven, i would rip it apart and love on it for its shininess.

I read it cover to cover in a couple hours, reading it slowly because it was a combination of harsh and soft writing. the character Tom was very conflicted and he needed a little more care in reading. I have been meaning to write a review for it for a while, but have been so busy that it has sat in my “incomplete drafts” untouched except for the placeholder blog title. This changed earlier today.

I was reading some other book sites that i lurk on (only recently started even commenting), It appears that i caught the tail end of a contest that Rebecca over at Readerville The book Ladyu’s Blog was running. Readerville TBLB is running a contest to give away a copy of Months and Seasons by Christopher Meeks. She had specific requirements for participants to have an entry accepted.

Interestingly enough, Rebecca’s requirements were just what i needed to get this book review up and running. text from my comment on Readerville is contained below along with the remainder of the review.

review:

Tom cannot hunt, he is too clumsy. he cannot creep quietly through the forest as the others. He very nearly outs the whole village to the “Demons” or as we refer to ourselves, humans. Demons have plagued the villages existence for long enough that no one can truly remember a time where they were not around, but they do remember when they were much further away. Not as far away as the stars, mind you, but far enough away to be comfortable.

Tom has not always been clumsy loud and confused. infact, as his hearing and eyesight worsen, everything else seems to go to pot as well. he seems to be falling apart.

Through circumstances i will not get into here, Tom has to leave his tribe. The only place for him to go is into the world of the demons.

All in all, i was pleased with this book. the publisher rates this as a book for 12 year olds, but i was really into it. there is a simple philosophy that acts as an undercurrent to this book, one that any age group can identify with.

From Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield’s (character) last lines amount sums it all up:

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”

Human nature is so simple. The connections you make with others do nothing but strengthen your inability to be a hermit. simple communication can destroy one’s ability to stay separate, clean, and clear of others.

you see a similar clarity in many books, but recently it was most visually evident in Cold Tom, visual being the word to carry forward.

Tom, being an elf, can actually see the vines and organic elements that bind families friends and humanity together. the more he interacts with humans, the stronger their binds to him become. they are both suffocating and comforting. as with all of us, it is a juggling act to determine which is more important, the suffocation or the safety of relationships and society.

Though Tom himself is not human, he shares many charcteristics with us. the degrees of seperation are muted and flimsy, in many places completely invisible. this book teaches tolerance with out preaching. it shows good faith, with out reason for faith to exist. it suggests lessons, but not in an overt lecturing manner as many early teen books have been known to do.

Change, and book: Pretty Little Mistakes

Pretty Little Mistakes by Heather McElhatton

• Paperback: 512 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (May 1, 2007)

as you may have noticed, i made an alteration to this page…again…

i got tired of the normal layout and noticed that on some computers the text was a bit hard to read.. i am all about accessibility. i dont like to squint or search, so poof. newness comes forth and assaults your sensibilities with colors that should never be put together.

opinions?

background image came from some medical website, and was altered a great deal, duplicated, rebuilt, masked, etc. it reminds me a little of some newer pinkfloyd artwork now, though i do not really know why it does.

there are a few quirks i need to work out still, but for the most part, it is ready for use.

~~

books. i have been slacking on the book front. not on the reading, just on the reporting. i have 4 new books that i need to list up here. a couple of which are weeks old now.. so i will continue to slack, and talk about the one that was the most fun to read.

how many people remember reading Choose Your Own Adventure books when you were younger? it is a generation thing, so older visitors may be familiar with them whilst never having read one themselves.  Those who have read them inevitably have a similar response when they are brought up. They all enjoyed them and they all wish that there were adult versions of them to read.. well get used to it, there are not. get over it.. nah, just fucking with you.. there were not.. now there is one..

Pretty Little Mistakes was written by Heather McElhatton is the adult answer to “why are there no adult choose your own adventure books?” She calls them “Do Over” books and has filled a gaping hole in the consumer world.. addicted adults with no outlet for their addiction to manifest itself. She has created a story that begins on the day you graduate highschool.

• do you go to college? if so, do you major in art or science?
• do you say “fuck college” and go touring the world with a back pack and an eye for adventure?
• do you start making drugs and selling them to an unsuspecting populace?

and one of my favorites…

• do you strap the meat to your naked body?

this book is not for younger kids. some of the sections you would not want your 5-11 year olds reading. it is not meant for them, it is meant for us! We are taking back the genre!!  this book is filled with tumerous cocks, bullets, random accidents, numerous versions of heaven and hell. angry gods, flacid boyfriends, lesbian lovers, fame fortune, porn stars, disease.. that is the short list.

unlike a normal choose your own adventure, and contrary to how you are told to read the book, Heather has made i easy for you to quickly navigate the story lines. it is simple to “do over” decisions that you feel were not the best. each decision is set before you with a section number as well as a page number. i found that the section numbers were easier to navigate as they are presented in large bold print in the top corner where as the small print page numbers in the bottom left were cumbersome. each section begins by telling you what section you came from, thus allowing you a fast back pedal action if you decide not to start from the beginning.

i read this book through to its completion, which can be difficult with 150 possible endings. there seemsed to be an underlying theme to the whole story. regardless of what choices you make, you were still brought back to some similar situations. almost as if heather’s book was a chronicle of fate’s tangled web. you have a path, and you can stray from it, but in the end fate only gives you a few scenarios to play with.

it was interesting to read extra into the stories. i found myself pondering creationism and evolution.. considering that one person could be fucked for life from the get go with only one decision to sway the odds. it was fun, and suprisingly compelling.

i officially have fed the addiction and anxiously await more of my drug.

anyone who wants to try it out before going to the book store, see below. As part of her website, Heather has placed a section of the book online in a semi-low tech fashion. it is not the same as having the weight of the book in hand, but will give you an idea of the writing style. i suggest traveling after school. try going to californication.

click here to test out a preview of the book

i am excited, a second book called million little mistakes is being written by her right now. i hope a third book later will have a less predictable title.

per her website http://www.prettylittlemistakes.com

***million little mistakes***
won’t be out till next summer!**
Why?
Because Heather McElhatton is the worlds slowest writer
and mlm is going to be so so so good!

Gordon / The little girl and the cigarette

The little girl and the cigarette by Benot Duteurtre

• Paperback: 187 pages
• Publisher: Melville House (March 1, 2007)

Summit Summit (Gordon), brother of the Mousetress. a good friend of mine.

Back on April 8th, before the due date for taxes, Summit was apparently part of an interview as an IRS worker. It took a little effort but I managed to scrape his little blurb from a local news website so that it would not be lost. it was weird seeing him all newsified.. I was simultaneously happy to see him and horrified to see inside his work..

Thank you, whichever news website it was, for allowing me to see my friend Gordon whilst he was at work and dressed all fancy like. Sometime I will have to throw up (hehehe, Ii said throw up, like barf..) some animated GIFs that summit made when he cut his hair from long to short. It is goofy and awesome.

Love this guy..

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The Little Girl and the Cigarette

Caution: There are spoilers to a certain degree in this post.

sigh.. i really enjoyed this book. no review to be found here.. just rambling about the plot line and how awesome it was.

This book was originally written by French author Benot Duteurtre. Translated to English some time in the last couple years by Charlotte Mandell.

In the not to distant future, the world is not too different than it is now. People still work their jobs, there is no massive shift in the polar ice caps causing destruction. The human race is not nearing extinction, nor is it being harassed by aliens. Now you may be saying to yourself “Wait a second.. Jason.. what are you reading? you always have something a little bit bizarre in hand. and this is sounding a little tame.” Well, this is no exception.

In Powells books one day, Jenn picked up a bright pink book with a thick laminate cover. it was soft and a little unnerving in hand, somehow, too smooth to the touch, slightly velvet in that overproduced plastic sheeting kind of way. The binding on the book read “The Little Girl and the Cigarette”. The front and back covers are basic in structure showing the typical bar code, but also the above image. Jenn bought it and read me the synopsis. It rapidly became a “must read” and was catapulted to the top of my reading list.

The book opens in a world that is far too PC, too careful, too “nice”. People accused of a crime are put into a common court system which is televised and broadcast to the public. Generally, the public has formulated their own opinions a long time before the hearings begin, due to mass media saturation. Not too much difference from today right?

Slight spoilers follow, but i attempt to be caeful with presentation..

Plot line one: The author is a bit heavy handed at times, as in the case of the first main character introduced, Desire (Desir’ee) Johnson. Desire is aptly named, though seemingly mispronounced in it’s use as a name instead of a feeling/want. Desire is in prison for a murder he claims he did not commit. He is in prison, not because there was evidence that he killed a police officer, but instead, because he stated in court that if he was to kill a man, he would want it to be a bastard such as the one he was accused of killing. This was enough for the court. Desire is now rotting in prison and awaiting his own execution.

Desire (not the name) is exactly what saves him from death. On the day of execution, his final request is to have one final cigarette. The difficulty is that there is a general ban on smoking in all public buildings, including the prison. Will his last wish be fulfilled as the antiquated law books advise it should? Should the law upholding the rights of all the other citizens in the building be upheld instead, and his last cigarette be denied in defense of the lungs that might be affected?

This is an obvious conundrum for anyone trying to climb the career ladder. They don’t want the wrong decision hanging over their head. It would haunt one into unemployment.

~~

Queue plot line two: A man is indifferent to children. They stay out of his way, and he is generally happy with that. Our culture has come full swing to the position where children are a blessing. They are pure and clean and can do nothing wrong. Our secondary protagonist works for the city, and in the main city hall offices, he spends every day tortured.

The mayor of the city has performed cutbacks that laid a great deal of people off. in order to offset the stigma associated with layoffs and cutbacks, he has converted all of the newly opened space in the governmental buildings. The newly freed space becomes a full time daycare facility for anyone who needs it. Children run rampant across the building, and people are advised not to disturb them from their processes. anyone who continually causes issues or bitches gets flagged as a “hater of children” and people treat them differently.

our protagonist is a smoker. the general smoking ban has extended itself into the private sector, causing individuals to be unable to smoke in their own homes. he starts feeling a rebellious urge.

taking 6 months, he slowly creates a smoking area in a disused bathroom in his office building, someplace he can creep away to and not be caught by any of the building wide sensors, checking for elements that might harm others, especially the children.

One day he gets caught by a young girl while smoking. His butt goes out the window, he yells at the girl. In retaliation, she tells the world that he was lewd toward her in the bathroom. As a smoker, a known “hater of Children”, and an adult male, he it put in jail nearly instantly.

They ask, why would a child lie about something like that and the answer is, they would not. Everyone convicted of Crimes Against Children always state they are innocent.. these two factors combined make him a losing case, fucked by the system and officially ruined for life.

oh yeah, and a woman was hit by his cigarette butt and is suing.

not much here is not described in the first two chapters or the back of the book, so dont feel like reading this should deter you from picking up the book anytime soon. it doesnt spoil more than a few points.