Fnord Incorporated

sorry.. just “thinking aloud”

people take shit too seriously nowadays. everything is fast paced and on the verge of exploding. the explosion i talk about is all in their heads though. it is an over reaction creating the “mountain out of a molehill” that we have all heard about over the years. some readers may mumble something here about terrorists and the state of the world. this reaction is perfectly aligned with my point, it also walks a complete circle around it. we may get to that later though

nothing in the united states is that extreme. instead you are brought up to expect i that it is, trained to react as if the world as we know it will end if “____________” does or does not happen. we are taught that speed and quality are not the same thing, but often times hand in hand.

FUD: Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt

FUD is the subconscious energetic agent of our blueberry toaster strudel society. with any of these three ingredients, people will continue to do what they are told. it is easier to see something that you hate, but know inside and out than it is to try something new and risk a bad reaction.

i dont really know why, but it has been a high priority thought on my mind today.
old thought, old concept, new day.. sigh.

i guess al that really matters is that

i want a hot toasted english muffin right now.

Going crazy with the cabin fever.

I thought to myself, hey, almost two weeks off work for surgery.. that is a cake walk! i will get a nice vacation in.. some work around the house.. will be back up and running in 4 days MAX.

yeah, right… So tomorrow is Thursday. exactly one week from when my tonsil surgery occurred. i have been miserable and useless for the most part. i am also pretty sure i have lost 10 pounds or more in the last week.

anyways. i have had virtually no food in a week and i hate Popsicles now with a passion to be rivaled by no super villain ever created. i am overall doing well but have mainly been sitting around in a puddle of “i don’t feel good and i want to die” for a week. i would have let people know how i was ding sooner, but to be honest, when feeling sick, i could really give a rats ass about anything else.. so no offense, but i was being self centered and quiet… i am surprised i still have Jenn hanging around after the last week.

if you want the details of the last week, read on, otherwise, i would hold off.. it is nothing but bitching and moaning.. i could officially write a book about the worst week of my life though no one would read it.

Jenn, when you read this, thank you.
i cannot begin to describe how wonderful and tolerant you have been, love you babe.

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Lamb / The Magician and the Fool

Lamb by Christopher Moore

• Imitation Leather: 432 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow; Spl Gft edition (October 23, 2007)

and

The Magician and the Fool by Barth Anderson

Advanced Reader Copy

• Paperback: 290 pages
• Publisher: Bantam (March 25, 2008)

What with moving out of my apt, i have not had a whole ton of time for reading. in fact, it took me over a week to read Lamb, which was a real shame.. it should have been one i could never put down. it deserved that kind of attention.

Christopher Moore is a phenomenal writer. he put out a couple fairly hilarious books i have head in the past (thanks Jenn) and so when this was handed to me, i was anxious to crack it open and start the absorption process.

Lamb: The Gospel according to Biff, Christ’s childhood pal:

Damn. this book is a work of fiction, compiled from a number of sources and the authors brain. it has sex murder resurrections spontaneous healing. Lamb basically covers from year 10 of Jesus’s life to the crucifixion, primarily focusing on the years that are undocumented and not part of the typical gospel coverage.

Jesus, known in the book by his Greek name Joshua is seen in the first chapter resurrecting lizards, he is a kid. it is fun. he doesn’t fully get it, but hey it passes the time. Levi, who is called “Biff’ after the sound made when someone gets beat on the head, meets Joshua and they become fast friends. As Josh tries to learn how to become the messiah, it is Biff who helps keep him from getting stoned to death during the opening years. the book covers their travels to the far east in search of the original three wise men, hoping they can help josh learn to save humanity. Along the way Josh learns how he want s the world to be, in contrast to how the Jewish world expects their savior to make it.

damn. this book was hilarious. I read a reprint of the book. it was a special edition that came in a soft faux leather cover with parchment paper and a ribbon book mark. reading it on public transit almost guaranteed me a seat by myself as no one want to sit by the guy reading the bible on his way to work.. little did they know.

There are two printings with this cover. one is thicker it is using a semi gloss parchment paper that though nice, makes it feel less authentic. the other is skinnier due to the use of regular parchment paper. it feels like a real bible, looks like a real bible, but is far far funnier.

I highly suggest this book for any and all religious people with a sense of humor and an open mind. it is not meant to be a new gospel, just a comedic look at what could have been. for those who would say it is blasphemy, i say, shoosh. pick it up and read it. it does nothing to diminish the christian viewpoint. in fact, you may find that it is eye opening on many levels.

Thank you mr moore. this book is one i am proud to have on my book shelves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Magician and the Fool.

this book was all over the place. directly following Lamb, it was interesting to read something so off the wall. Half of the book is incoherent. You are reading two different perspectives on opposing sides of the world.

The first is of Jeremiah Rosemont. Rosemont is a art historian who has taken himself out of the world as we know it. he has been disgraced (though you never truly know why). the book opens with him in south America where he is bumming from town to town looking for peace of mind. he is called to Rome, and given a ticket first class to get there. the ticket comes from someone that he doesn’t know and he has no idea why he is going there… but hey. it is a ticket to Rome. he goes.

Character 2 is of the Boy King. Boy King is a homeless guy living in Minnesota. he is a master reader of the tarot and is hiding from some silent enemy. he has been under the radar for 12 years and is frightened as he finds himself being led back into it.

The whole book revolves around a deck of tarot cards that is 400 years or so, older than any known written (on paper) text. Mythology of the creation of Rome, (the slaying of Remus by Romulus), sorcery, astral travel, lizard people, 900 year old humans, slip-streamed universes, times travel and mind control are all elements in the story.

I read this book cover to cover and enjoyed every page. unfortunately, i have no idea what happened in it. the author purposefully leaves out significant details and glosses over others leaving no solid answers for anyone reading the book. One primary question requiring more info, is what in the great flying fucketty fuck are all these people after the tarot deck for? They need Rosemont to authenticate the deck as being real. they need to catch the Boy King (for what reason, you are never privy to)…. but WHY??? it isnt ownership of the deck, it isn’t some super secret magic that i can tell. all they want is to have an unbiased opinion of the deck and it’s origins..,.  fuck… fuck them… toss me some twine so i can help tie this all up.. i have theories, but that is all i can give..

this book was awesome in how fantastically frustrating it was. i hope there is a second book. though i doubt there is.. will need to look that up.

i would read a second just to get answers to the first.

whew…. moving done.. kinda…

no talk of NIMH will occur here today. Though there was an interesting train of thought in my mind today regarding the playing with of glass balls, tights, stealing of little boys, and David Bowie in the movie Labyrinth.

i think that Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) from Spinal Tap has Bowie beat.. sorry Davey-boy… lets put it to you this way.. a sock or a vegetable wrapped in tin-foil for freshness?

vegetable wins.

—

Moving is complete. I am now a resident of Beaverton again. I still have some work to be done over at the ol’ apt, but over all stuff is complete… well, if moved into the new garage is considered complete.

the cat is moved in and is slowly becoming acquainted with the dogs..

Yesterday Jenn got into a knife fight with herself. She decided that stabbing herself in the hand with a kitchen knife was a solid way of getting to skip work today or something.. well, not entirely true, she just hurt herself opening some packages at the house, so it was not as glamorous a “Rebel with out a cause” knife fight.. instead, just an unfortunate accident

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open the post in full view to see a photo of Jenn’s hand, fore warning on a graphic image following been made, check it out!!

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